(Discussing what to cook for Christmas dinner)
Dad: "The only thing missing is..."
Me: "Best Christmas ever!"
(Making grocery list)
Me: Do we have allspice?
Mom: No, but we do have vodka. I'm not having it out on the counter but you can keep it back in your room for you and Jessica.
Me: Hey, Court, I think we should make some punch too.
Me: Dr. Survilla's mom gave me a really great recipe for a roast.
Megan's daddy: Chelsea's Marvelous Mean Dead Christmas Cow! Mooya!
Dad: We'll have to be washing our hands a lot, being around so many people. That cruise ship disease has had an outbreak in Madison this weekend.
Me: Yeah, we don't need to add disease to mental disability with all this family time...